Sitemap - 2015 - A Legend In His Own Minefield
My Songs: French Fries for Breakfast
My Songs: The Prostitutes of London
My Songs: My Sexual Ineptitude (2001)
Typical Typicalities of the Regional Area
Whatever Happened to The Stroganovs?
Oh, No, Another One About Chopped!
Everybody's Gone Surfin'...Except Me
He Who Should Be Doing the Thanking
Some Random Reflections on Race
Are You Ready for Some Football?
My Life in the Glow of Universal Approbation
The Mario Andretti of Mass Transit
Remembering Frank Zappa, and Not Enjoying Doing So
Looking for Soul Food…and a Place Free of Litter
Time to Take Back Our Country! (Why Democracy Doesn't Work)
They're the Top. They're the Mona Lisa.
An Evening With the Trump People
The Torture of Being the George
Excluded From the Debates, I Nonetheless Fight On!
Three Bucks Each and All the Tap Water We Could Have Drunk!
The Discomfort of Hot Young Women
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Dunder! Off, Blitzer!
Another Dispatch From the Depths of Despair
I Meet Donald J. Trump, and Am Pleasantly Surprised!
The Awesomeness of His Dudeliness
What If Ann Coulter's Kidding?
The Blue-Eyed Jew Behind Gangsta Rap (Part 2)
The Blue-Eyed Jew Behind Gangsta Rap
Day 2 on the Campaign Trail: Lunch With Rinse Previous
I Meet a Celebrity! (What Doth It Parfitt a Man?)
Why Professional Football Players Have Ludicrous Given Names
What I've Learned About Myself From Clickbait Quizzes
A Poor Excuse for a 15-Year-Old Boy
Lowering the Bar, Resting It on the Ground
Promiscuous Me: Straight Outta Compton
Promiscuous Me: My Life as a Rolling Stone
Promiscuous Me: She'd Been a Teenaged Googoomuck
The Other Chrissy, the Even Better One
Promiscuous Me: The Male Trophy Wife
Promiscuous Me: When Will I See You Again?
Promiscuous Me: The Loneliness of the Long Distance Word Processor
Promiscuous Me: Remembering Margie
I Save American Democracy! (You're Welcome.)
The Night Punk Was Born in Los Angeles
An Ingrate in the Bargain (Call Me Eeyore)
Substance Abuse: An Antidote to Depression
A Short Recent History of Self-Mutilation for Fashion
This Town Wasn't Big Enough for the Three of Us
Restaurateur Intolerable (Not Even 50)
"Runaround Sue": Performed by the Greatest of the Great!
Further Adventures in Job-Hunting
The Second to Last Thing I'll Ever Write About Led Zeppelin: Not Confronting Robert Plant
The Most Hated Book in Amazon History, and How I Came to Write It
Forgive Me, Mr. Pissypants, for I Have Sinned!
My Life in the Theater, Part 3: Keeping Pacey
My Life in the Theater, Part 2: Far West of the West End
My Life in the Theater: I Am Born
Singing Someone Else's Heart Out
The Worst Single of the Rock Era
Saved by My Own Shoe Fetishism!
Giving Bill Wyman His Due and Other TAMI Tales
My Recent Ordeal, and How I Somehow Summoned the Colossal Courage to Endure It!
I Save the English Language! You're Welcome.
I Caught a Good One. It Looked Like It Could Run.
Today I've Made for You Goat's Brain-Filled Gnocchi
The Attack of the Yes, But People
The World's Foremost Expert on Boredom
The Nephew of American Rock Criticism
The Pinnacle of My Career as a Singer
Viryl Studd - The Early and Middle Years
Narcocorrido on Winding Mountain Roads
From Ham to the Canaries by Aeorplane
When Sweaty Betty Met the Boy With One Shoulder
God Forbid the Inconsiderate Should Feel Unwelcome
"I'll Never Be This Uncool Again!"
My Big Boss Beat, and What It Won Me
I Saw Boyhood So That You Won't Have To
On the Run in the Nastiest Corner of the Galaxy: A Freelance Writer's Life
But Who Will Play Lead Guitar?
Of Mr. Heydenreich and Delusional Little Assbags
Beatles or Stones? The Question Finally Addressed: Neither!
Typing at Starbucks, and Other Tales, or At Least One Other
Why We Celebrities Dread the Press
1979: Apocalypse Not Exactly Now, But As Soon as the Print Can Be Located at the Airport
Panic Attacks and Spurned Screenplays — I Remember 1978
Summer (and Spring, Fall, and Winter) of 1969: The Most Eventful Year of My Life
The Most Beautiful Music in the World
The Absurdity of the Sports Fan
Another American Family Destroyed by Drugs
Another Long Gone, But Forever in My Heart
1956 Concludes, and So Does Joe
1956: Going Rogue, and Knocking Out My Own Front Teeth
Part 31 of Our Pete Townshend Interview
1976: Lord, I Had Dem Bicentennial Blues
The Record Industry Grovels as the Rock Press Pukes