My New Year's Eve With President O'Bama

At my age, I had honestly begun to despair of ever finding love again. Once, when I sauntered into Carlos ‘n’ Charlie’s on Sunset Blvd., lovely young women would pout and stick their breasts out as I passed. In the past 25 years, though, no woman I haven’t paid has seemed so much as to notice me. I blame the fact that my ears and nose are almost twice t…