The Department of Education Through Pain!

Joni Ernst's crisis of conscience

In February 2020, she voted to acquit Trump on both articles of impeachment (abuse of power and obstruction of Congress). In her view, Trump had learned his lesson, and could be counted on not to ask a foreign leader to investigate his rivals again without going through the proper channels.

And then, in spite of having been a reliable inhabitant of the wrong position on pretty much every issue, she pissed off the likes of evangelical power broker Bob Vander Plaats by not swooning with delight at the prospect helping the appalling Pete Hegseth to become Secretary of Defense.

“The people of Iowa, just like the people in this country,” pouted Vander Plaats, ““basically kind of assume [Trump] gets to assemble his team to execute his agenda.”

Well, sure, Bob, but in the past folks have basically kind of assumed that the president wouldn’t nominate fascisst rapists with apparent alcohol problems to oversee the Pentagon.

At Turning Point USA’s annual fascismfest in Phoenix no less (and not a bit more) than Donald J. Trump’s elder son called on those who worship Pop to inflict “pain” on the “weakling” House Republicans who say something other than, “How high, sir?” whenever Pop or Supreme Overlord of the Universe Musk says, “Jump.”

“We need everyone to do what we did over the last few weeks,” quoth Junior, straining to evoke, in cadence and sigh-ending sentences, the adipose imbecile from whose loins he wriggled. “Make them feel the pain. I think Joni Ernst learned this a little bit the hard way. ‘ETP,’ education through pain. It’s a very simple concept.”

(Well, it would have to be for you to have mastered it, wouldn’t it, Junior? Really cool acronym, though, ETP. Did Stephen Miller help with it?

Honestly, Junior, what a badass! From what we know about Grandpa Trump, you’ve become exactly the boy he wanted his firstborn to be — a heartless motherfucker. I haven’t been so turned on since Stephen declared in February 2017, “The president will not be questioned.”)

I see the Department of Education Through Pain as being a subset of the Department of Justice more than of the Department of Education. Junior has documentable talent as a killer of wild animals, but he’ll have to prove himself as a sadist. I wonder if Miller might be willing to head it up, rather than play second fiddle to prospective border czar Tom Homan, though its beneficiaries are likely to be white Republicans, rather than people of color. I can envision ETP campuses being built in the most desolate parts of North Dakota or Nevada, and resembling the re-education and detention camps the Chinese have thoughtfully provided for the Uyghurs.

It became clear in a hurry, after she was informed that Supreme Overlord of the Universe Musk might fund the campaign of another Republican to oppose her in 2026, when she’s up for re-election, that Sen. Ernst might come to view Hegseth in a much more flattering light. Indeed, after meeting him face to face, Ernst marveled at his “responsiveness and respect for the process.”

“As I support Pete through this process, I look forward to a fair hearing based on truth, not anonymous sources," Ernst said, apparently forgetting that when she was herself raped in college, she opted for…anonymity. “I couldn’t stomach the idea that my rape would become public knowledge,” she’s written. “I was sure my boyfriend would find a way to blame me.”

Hypocrisy much, Senator?