Is One Real Rough Nasty Day Mr. Trump's Most Brilliant Idea Yet?
Felons tremble when President-in-Exile Trump approaches the dais!
At a rally this past Sunday in Pennsylvania, President-in-Exile Trump responded to the increasing audacity of evildoers inspired by the lunatics and criminals the Biden administration continues to welcome into our country, and speculated, “'If you had one really violent day, one rough hour — and I mean rough — the word would get out and [criminality] would end immediately.”
Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best solutions, and I think it’s time for everyone to concede, after countless months of denial, that Mr. Trump really is a genius, his occasional gaffe notwithstanding.
In his view, so many of our great cities having been taken over by (usually Spanish-speaking) miscreants with tattooed necks is a result of our having tied the hands of our brave policemen. Instead of being able to execute or grievously harm those they have seen commit crimes, or suspect of having unlawful intentions, our cops are required to treat felons as “suspects” whose guilt must later be proven in a court of law. Woke much?
Miscreants must be advised of their rights, and not beaten senseless. When they are put in the back of police vehicles, the police are required to cover the felons’ heads with their hands to prevent injury. Never mind that, owing to their deficient sense of hygiene or irrational dread of shampoo and conditioner, many felons’ heads aren’t something any reasonable person would ever want to touch.
Is it any wonder that the 377,000 members of the Fraternal Order of Police conferred their endorsement on Mr. Trump, rather than on his intelliectually impaired Marxist female opponent of situational ethnicity?
Difficult as it may be, imagine that you’re contemplating a crime. Shoplifting, let’s say, or tax evasion, forcing yourself on someone sexually in the dressing room of a ritzy department store, or even inciting a riot. Just as you’re about to commit your crime, you turn on the TV and see live coverage of half a dozen law enforcement officers kicking the shit out of someone who tried to steal a bottle of For Men Only® facial hair dye, possibly inflicting brain damage or dropping him or her out of a 17th floor window. Would you not think twice about going ahead with your evil plan? Of course you would! And you’d probably get on the phone to your fellow evildoers, telling them to chill out for 24 hours.
Just think how much better it might have been in April 1989 when five black and Latino teens were accused of assaulting and raping a female jogger in Central Park. If the New York Police Department had been able simple to execute the boys rather than just coerce confessions, they wouldn’t later have been exonerated, to the immense embarrassment of the NYPD and of Mr. Trump himself, who bought full-page advertisements calling for the boys to be punished capitally. Imagine how much money would have been saved!
A little song I wrote in 2018, before I’d gotten fully to grips with Logic Pro 10. Hence the wonky timing. But I wanted to get it out there before Zelda Hyde and the Exclusively Caucasian Singers left on their farewell tour.
I see Rough Day becoming an annual event, like Labor Day, or Super Bowl Sunday. Imagine supermarkets running ads urging you to stock up on Rough Day beer ‘n’ snacks. Imagine Rough Day parties and parades. Imagine folks sending each other Happy Rough Day cards.
For Mr. Trump’s idea to work, of course, the criminally inclined wouldn’t be able to know when Rough Day might suddenly be declared. And if it lasted only 24 hours, wouldn’t your smarter criminals wake up the next morning thinking, “Back to business as usual today. Know’m sayin’?
What this obviously means is that the police (and bikers) would have to have carte blanche every day. But honestly, would life in a society in which criminals didn’t dare commit felonies be so bad?
What could go wrong?
Obviously, trump remembers a bit a French history ( kidding, he never learned anything) but somehow got to “I am the State”.
“Felons tremble . . .”
How does that work, actually? Since . . . well, you know. Does he tremble right along with them like some demented “Sing Along With Mitch” deal? Or is it more like a call and response thing, like Mass?