Pictures of Lily Made My Life So Wonderful

During the recording of my band CMilk’s debut (and farewell) album for Warner Bros. in mid-1972, in the San Fernando Valley studio in which Nirvana and Fleetwood Mac recorded the albums that made them gigantic, I would sometimes wander during marathon guitar overdubbing sessions in which my services weren’t required to look at gentlemen’s magazines at a local liquor store. In one such magazine, I discovered this advertisement for The Undie World of Lily St. Cyr, and realized I didn’t want a gal like the gal who married dear old dad, but like the one reclining below and to the left of Lily’s headshot. “Ooh la la,” I remarked audibly, and, “Va-va-voom!” The arch of her left foot! The gleaminess of her gloves! Overhearing me, the liquor store’s proprietor noted, “This ain’t a library, OK?”

Half a century and more later, I discovered that the advertisement was there for me to admire on the Internet, and once more I remarked, “Ooh la la,” and, “Va-va-voom!” Pity, I thought, that the ad was so lo-fi.

Enter a combination of my dexterity in Photoshop and AI! About which, speak not a disapproving syllable in my presence, at least for the next day or two.

Lily was born Marie Frances Van Schaack (better that than Frances Gumm!) in Minneapolis two and a half years before my own mama was born in that selfsame burg. She later became an oft-arrested-for-indecency, uh, burlesque dancer. She is said, at most, to have enjoyed a very intimate relationship with Marilyn Monroe, and to have designed the brassiere that Cassandra Peterson, as Elvira, wore so fetchingly.

For a while, Lily had a shop right across Santa Monica Blvd. from the Starwood, at which my band The Pits ill-advisedly opened for Devo, and at which such hitmakers as The Jam, The Knack, The Van Halen, and Many Others also performed, albeit not on bills with Devo. Lily died in obscurity in West Hollywood, in which we both resided at one point. I regret not having paid homage to her.

Judy Garland was born Frances Gumm.