Oligarchy: The Way Forward!
I’ve really had quite enough of woketards bemoaning President Trump’s unmistakable determination to turn the USA into an oligarchy.
Did these people not see the Tucker Carlson television special He Said, “Call Me Vlad”, in which he interviewed the visionary leader of the world’s most successful oligarchy, Vladimir Putin, and determined that Russian supermarkets are pretty nearly giving eggs away, whereas in America only tech bros, movie stars, and elite athletes are eating omelettes anymore?
Do they not understand that an oligarchy is a meritocracy writ large? Take the case of Vivek Ramasmarmy. One would think that in a country the woketards insist is hostile toward persons of greater melanin, especially when they’re slimy little ass-kissers. But his dark skin, weird, furrin-sounding name, and rampant obnoxiousness were as nothing compared to his brilliance, work ethic, determination, and vision. (This is a man who believes there’s a universe in which heterosexual young math nerds get as many hot babes as heterosexual football stars.) Meritocracy in action!
The same holds for Donald G. Trump, whose real estate developer father Fred took him aside on Donald’s 21st birthday and said, “You know, Donny, I could leave you hundreds of millions of dollars, but I’ve come to believe that my doing so would be ruinous for your character, so what I’m going to leave you is $999 and my collection of Belle Époque pornographic photographs that I’d appreciate your not mentioning to Mother or any of your siblings. I’m giving the rest of my fortune to medical research, as I want my legacy to be that of a key participant in the extermination of juvenile leukemia.”
As has been exhaustively documented, after working his way through college as a waitress and occasional lip-synch artiste called Gypsi at a South Philadelphia drag bar, young Donald shrewdly invested his modest inheritance, and started what soon — owing to his own remarkable work ethic, charm, and, above all, smarts — became Manhattan’s most successful crime scene cleanup company. After selling which, he made more shrewd investments, co-starred in the smash movie Home Alone, and wrote a succession of self-help books, only one of which — Belle Époque Pornographic Photography: The Definitive Guide for Collectors — failed to top the New York Times bestseller list, and co-starred with Mr. Putin in the internationally acclaimed podcast Poots ’n’ Tubby. And now, of course, he is nothing less than the universally adored president of the greatest country in the history of geography.
Not a rags-to-riches story, perhaps, but surely a bought-off-the-rack-at-Ross-Dress-for-Less-to riches one.
To look at them, you might imagine that Mr. Trump and Mr. Ramasmarmy share few traits. What they and virtually every other very rich person have in common is brilliance, a love of hard work, and dedication to the common good.
Who in his, her, or, in the case of the non-binary, their right mind wouldn’t want such a person, or a consortium of such persons, running the country? To paraphrase the late, great George Wallace, oligarchy today, oligarchy tomorrow, oligarchy in mid-April!
President Trump's Transphobia Explained!
The author Robert M. Pirsig’s observation that “we always condemn most in others…that which we most fear in ourselves.” is true, according to a recent study at the University of Western North Carolina at Pigeon Forge headed by Dr. Nathan Placebo.
The George Wallace parody is particularly apropos in the aftermath of Trump's comments about the cause of the airline crash! Hmmmm.... We'll do away with the 14th Amendment's section on birthright citizenship, then perhaps throw out that whole Amendment, and then repeat the 13th, so that Elon Musk can buy slaves.