Cherlize Theron and the Shuttle to Oblivion

Let’s imagine, just for the fun of it, that a superior (what a tall order!) race of aliens informed the White House that if we Americans don’t shoot the 1000 most despicable among us into space within 96 hours, let’s say, they were going to use technology unfathomable to even the most brilliant terrestrial physicist to extend Mexico’s northern border up…